Pegging Tips for Couples

Are you and your partner interested in pegging?  Whether pegging has been a long time fantasy or a brand new curiosity that you're exploring together, it can be intimidating to get started. 

First: What is pegging? Pegging is a practice where a woman penetrates a man anally with a strap-on dildo.  It is an experience that can be highly pleasurable for both the man and the woman.

Second: Why do couples enjoy pegging?  The prostate gland can be stimulated from within the rectum in men.  The prostate is extremely sensitive and pleasurable for many men, resulting in a different kind of orgasm.  Additionally, many couples enjoy the role reversal of pegging and its taboo nature, as well as the thrill experiencing a new variation of sexual gratification together.  Pegging does not have anything to do with sexual orientation, this is a damaging myth that needs to be dispelled.   

Many straight couples are curious about pegging but may feel hesitant or unsure about exploring this new territory. We're here to provide you with all the information and guidance you need to embark on this journey together.

1. Start with Communication

Before diving into pegging, have an open and honest conversation with your partner. Discuss your curiosity about pegging and listen to your partner's thoughts and feelings. It's important to ensure that both partners are enthusiastic and consenting before proceeding. 

Communication is key to ensuring a safe and enjoyable experience for both parties.  Some topics you may want to discuss include:

• Expectations on cleanliness:  anal play always comes with a risk of poop making an appearance.  Anal douching can reduce the risk, but nothing is 100%.  How will you handle possible sights and smells in a way that is not embarrassing or uncomfortable for either partner?
• Set a mood:  Do you want the experience to be soft and romantic or more primal?  Do you want to incorporate costumes or role play?  What about dirty talk?
• Positions and foreplay:  What sex acts will get you both in the mood and ready for some pegging fun?  Which positions do you want to try?  Test your positions with clothes on to see how your bodies line up and practice moving your body, practice makes perfect.
• Boundaries:  Are there any acts that you are not interested in trying?  Communicate those ahead of time if possible, but be prepared to address things as they come up during sex.  
• Prepare for constant communication during pegging:  Check in with each other about comfort and pleasure.  Be ready to try something outside of the initial plan and tell your partner if you need a break or become uncomfortable.  
• Safe Words:  Safe words are an excellent tool to use during sex, especially if you are trying something new.  We suggest the "green-yellow-red" system.  Green obviously means that everything is good.  Yellow means pause, maybe the position is uncomfortable or you need to use the bathroom or the dirty talk is making you uneasy.  When yellow is called, stop and check in with each other and make adjustments.  Red means full stop and prepare for after care.  The sex may not continue when red is called depending on what is going on with your partner.  Always be ready to show love and understanding when your partner uses a safe word, never express frustration or anger.  Its a good idea to check in frequently when trying something new; simply ask your partner their color to make sure you are both fully enjoying the experience!
• Have a sense of humor:  Laugh and have fun together, it will help build the connection that comes with trying something new!

Click HERE for our blog about discussing fantasies and boundaries.

2. Choose the Right Equipment

Invest in high-quality equipment such as an anal training set, strap-on harness and dildo. 

Anal training is essential for comfortable anal sex, and Silolis anal training sets are the best on the market because they combine wands with plugs for incredibly efficient training.  This is a significantly better system than plug-only anal training sets. Choose a training set that corresponds with the maximum girth of the dildo that you will be using for pegging.  If you are brand new to anal play, the initial training will likely take several days and may take up to several weeks, use this time to discuss his progress and build anticipation for when he will be ready for the main event!  Training gets faster over time and with consistency. Click here to learn more about anal training. 

A strap-on harness is a necessary piece of equipment for pegging.  You will want to purchase one that is high quality with multiple adjustable straps to ensure a comfortable, snug fit for your body.  Read reviews to see what has worked well for women with a body type similar to your own.  Check to make sure the harness can accommodate the girth of your dildo, many of them have a stretchy circular band that the dildo slides through to stay in place.

Purchase a dildo that is specifically made for pegging.  These dildos have a flared base that makes them compatible with harnesses and prevents them from being fully inserted into the rectum.  Check the materials used carefully and look for one that is made out of Platinum Cure Silicone.  Click here for our article on body safe sex toy materials.  When you are deciding on a size for your dildo, beginners should generally look for one that is no larger than 1.5" in diameter.  Choosing one that is on the longer side (6+ inches insertable) will help avoid frequent slips as you learn how to move your bodies in a consistent rhythm. Consider shapes that will stimulate the prostate for greater pleasure.

Click HERE to read about Anal Pleasure for Men

Another consideration is the availability of "strapless" strap-ons.  Strapless strap-ons are pegging dildos that extend to a rounded section that can be inserted into the vagina of the pegger to provide stimulation to both partners.  Strapless strap-ons are great for women who want to feel more physical stimulation while pegging, however, they do require the use of a harness even though they are marketed as "strapless."  They will not stay in place during vigorous movements without a harness. 

3. Take it Slow and Focus on Pleasure

Like any new sexual activity, start slow and gradually build up intensity.  Start by putting on the harness and dildo to make sure it is comfortable and secure.  Next, focus on foreplay activities that will be arousing to both of you.  Strut around and show off your "member" if that feels good to you.  It's a good idea to warm up his anus with lubed fingers or toys.  When you're ready to start moving towards pegging, choose a position and begin applying a generous amount of lube to the dildo and his anus.  Choose a lube that is compatible with your dildo; silicone lube is often incompatible with silicone toys and can degrade them over time, water based lube is compatible with all toys but needs to be reapplied more frequently than silicone lube.

Listen to your partner's cues as you slowly attempt penetration and adjust accordingly to make the experience enjoyable for both of you.  Ask them about depth and speed as you find the right rhythm.  It is common for men to lose their erection during pegging and prostate stimulation without simultaneous penile stimulation.  Loss of erection does not mean they are not aroused, its just how bodies work. 

Once you've found your rhythm, embrace the roles! Pegging offers a unique opportunity for role reversal and exploring power dynamics in the bedroom. It allows both partners to experience pleasure in new and exciting ways. As the receiver, the male partner can enjoy the pleasurable sensations of prostate stimulation, which can lead to intense orgasms. The female partner can experience the thrill of taking on a dominant role and providing pleasure to her partner. 

Remember that pegging is about pleasure and intimacy. Focus on the connection with your partner and the sensations you are both experiencing.  Experiment with different positions and techniques to find what works best for you both. 

4. Practice After-Care

After pegging, make sure to practice after-care by checking in with your partner to ensure they are feeling comfortable and supported. Take time to cuddle, communicate, and reaffirm your connection to strengthen your bond.  Discuss the things you enjoyed and what you found sexy about it.  Remember that trying new things can sometimes bring up unexpected emotions or insecurities. Be patient, understanding, and supportive of each other's needs.

5. Clean Up

It is important to promptly sanitize toys and harnesses used in anal play according to the manufacturer's instructions.  If you put down extra towels or sheets, those should be laundered in a timely manner as well.

At Silolis, we believe that sexual exploration and pleasure should be inclusive and diverse. We hope that this guide has provided you with the information and encouragement you need to embark on your pegging journey. Remember to always prioritize consent, communication, and mutual pleasure. Enjoy the adventure!